so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
