So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Randomize
