Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
