i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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