...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
