Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
