I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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