everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
