just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
