ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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