dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize