Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
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