Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Of course I have a pirate flag
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
