I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
This is classic penis vs brain.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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