If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
