I think I died a long time ago.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
