Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
It's never too late to be topless.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
