Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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