i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
