cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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