I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
