My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Found your dick twin last night
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
