There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
