using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
