So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
