barbara walters just said penis...
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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