i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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