i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
