My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
