does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
