I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Randomize
