The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
This house was built for laser tag.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
