If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
