a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
