i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Randomize
