Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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