No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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