When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
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