So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
