Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize