Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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