There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
