Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
