so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
