this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
