At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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