ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
