I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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