I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
