you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
you never un-have a 4some
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize