Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Two words: blizzard sex
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
