when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
