gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
