Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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