he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
