Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
