ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
