so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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