I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
