You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize