Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I forgot how hot balto sounded
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
