Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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