Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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